Judge Covid decides: Going to the gym

Judge Covid, may I exercise for my health?
EXERCISE IS HEALTHY
HEALTHY IS SAFE

Oh, good, thank you, your Horror. I was worried my gym would be clo—
GYMS ARE UNSAFE

But you just said—
GYMS ARE UNSAFE

What about other places people go to stay physically and mentally fit? Fitness centers, yoga studios, health clubs, dance studios, or martial-arts dojos?
ALL UNSAFE

What if those places sanitize and require social distancing or even appointments?
I’VE CHANGED MY MIND

Oh, thank you, your Horror.
GYMS ARE UNSAFE NOW
BUT THEY WILL BE SAFE IN TWO WEEKS
EXERCISE IS HEALTHY

Great, I will look forward to —
I’VE CHANGED MY MIND BACK

Uh-oh.
GYMS ARE UNSAFE NOW
AND SEVERAL WEEKS FROM NOW

I don’t understand; if exercise is —
YOU BREATHE MORE WHEN YOU EXERCISE
BREATHING MORE IS RISKY

But isn’t that what social distance is for?
SOCIAL DISTANCE IS SAFE

But people breathe in grocery stores and restaurants and, well, everywhere.
GROCERY STORES ARE ESSENTIAL
BREATHING IN HALF RESTAURANTS IS SAFE

Wait, what about pools? Swimming is exercise. You breathe more, plus you inhale harder when you’ve held your breath, right?
HALF POOLS ARE SAFE
GYMS ARE UNSAFE

Well, then what about half gyms? Can’t gyms be safe at 50% capacity?
HALF GYMS ARE UNSAFE

How can you be so adamant? Is this based in science?
YOU CANNOT KNOW THE WAYS OF COVID LAW
COVID LAW IS INSCRUTABLE
UNLESS YOU ARE AN EXPERT

No, I’m no expert, but even experts’ predictions have been so far out of bounds that —
OUT OF BOUNDS IS SPORTS TALK
ARE YOU AN ATHLETE

What? What does that have to do with —
GYMS ARE SAFE FOR ATHLETES

You’ve got to be kidding me. Don’t athletes breathe?
GYMS ARE SAFE FOR ATHLETES

Fine; COVID Law is inscrutable. College or professional athletes?
GYMS ARE SAFE FOR BOTH

But not for working professionals or others trying to stay healthy and fit, physically and mentally?
GYMS ARE UNSAFE

What about people who have been told by their doctors they need to exercise in gyms?
GYMS ARE UNSAFE

What about paralysis recovery centers the state legally defines as gyms? Their patients cannot even move themselves. Without therapy for months on end they could lose all of their progress toward ever walking again!
CENTERS DEFINED AS GYMS ARE UNSAFE

How can gyms be safe for athletes but not for people who have a medical need for gyms?
I’VE CHANGED MY MIND

Yes? Can we go back to gyms now because healthy is safe?
GYMS ARE SAFE IF YOU HAVE A DOCTOR’S NOTE
OTHERWISE GYMS ARE UNSAFE

A doctor’s note? Are we in middle school now?
COVID LAW IS INSCRUTABLE
UNLESS YOU ARE AN EXPERT

Gyms are open in all our border states: South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, even Virginia. How is that?
GYMS ARE SAFE IN SOUTH CAROLINA
GYMS ARE SAFE IN GEORGIA
GYMS ARE SAFE IN TENNESSEE
GYMS ARE SAFE IN VIRGINIA
GYMS HERE ARE UNSAFE

Don’t people breathe in gyms in those states?
GYMS HERE ARE UNSAFE

Is the air here different from the air all around us?
COVID LAW IS INSCRUTABLE
UNLESS YOU ARE AN EXPERT

Are we to believe a virus can read road signs and doctors’ notes?
SPREADING DISBELIEF IS SELFISH AND DANGEROUS

Yes, your Horror. Just asking, but can we exercise outside in front of a gym or fitness center?
EXERCISE OUTSIDE IS SAFE WITH SOCIAL DISTANCE

Even though we breathe more?
EXERCISE IS HEALTHY

How is that different from exercising inside gyms with social distance, sanitizing, set appointments, and even 50% capacity?
GYMS ARE UNSAFE
HALF GYMS ARE UNSAFE

So it’s not the air outside? Is the air inside gyms in surrounding states different from the air inside our gyms?
GYMS HERE ARE UNSAFE

How is that possible? Are there any data about —
SHARING DATA IS TOO RISKY

See other Judge Covid rulings here.

Jon Sanders / Director of Regulatory Studies

Jon Sanders studies regulatory policy, a veritable kudzu of invasive government and unintended consequences. As director of regulatory studies at the John Locke Foundation, Jo...

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