N&O columnist’s ‘humorous’ examination of Lindsey Graham’s spine

In today’s News & Observer, North Carolina writer Celia Rivenbark takes a ‘humorous,’ down-home home look at Sen. Lindsey Graham’s spine, or lack thereof:

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham reports he’s feeling “fit as a fiddle” after spine surgery at the Medical University of South Carolina last week.

“See, I’d misplaced the ol’ backbone,” Graham told reporters while being wheeled from the O.R. into the recovery room. Shortly after, he would be taken to a private room where he would be greeted with Hallmark TV and a post-op diet very much like his regular diet of soft, white, flavorless food which the Senator likes to call “patriot fuel.”

The surgical team joined by true conservatives who care about (1) the future of the Republican party and (2) the Constitution rejoiced at the reinstatement of Graham’s spine, which had been noticeably — and awkwardly — missing since Trump’s election.

“He has had a harrowing bout of sycophantitis but he’s recovering nicely,” said an operating room nurse on condition of anonymity and free cable for a year.

Now I’ve never heard of Celia Rivenbark, so based on this column she’s either a a far-right never Trumper or a liberal Trump hater. A review of her previous columns, however, tells me she’s the latter. So all the more interesting is the issue over which Graham supposedly grew a spine:

“Saying out loud the president is shortsighted and irresponsible to withdraw U.S. troops from northern Syria signaled the good Senator’s desire to stand upright once again,” said a surgeon. “But he will have to withstand a torrent of hateful tweets from the president perhaps the rest of his life. We can install the spine, but we can’t tell you how long it will last under that sort of attack.”

Maybe I’m missing the humor, but since when does a liberal mock withdrawing troops from a war zone? Since Trump did it–that’s when. I’ve often said–and posted on social media–that I certainly don’t agree with everything Trump does. But for the life of me, I don’t understand the sheer madness fueling the Left’s hatred for the man–a hatred dictating they take positions that they never would have taken before Trump was elected.

Sam Hieb / Contributing Editor

Sam Hieb is freelance journalist from Greensboro, North Carolina. He is a contributing editor for Carolina Journal and for Piedmont Publius, a blog that focuses on political a...

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