Jack Hough of Barron’s seeks an outrageous scheme to lure potential investors.

Interest rates are falling, growth is scarce, and there is a glut of investment dollars. That means Wall Street is setting up perfectly for a flight to nonsense.

I need a disruptive business plan in a hurry, so I can raise venture capital in time to cash out with a stock offering when conditions peak. So far, all I have is a loose confederation of buzzwords: Big Data blockchain sharing robo-sustainable cannabis straws. That’s probably not even enough for a $5 million valuation.

My call to action came this past Tuesday, when long-dormant Bitcoin jumped 16%. Analysts pointed to an anonymous buyer. That came days after Lyft went public with a $20 billion valuation. It’s a distant second in the business of using smartphones to hail rides from private car owners. Last year, Lyft lost $1.47 per ride. One way to think of the company is as Burger King to Uber’s McDonald’s . Another way is as a company that buys Whoppers and resells them for $1.47 less. …

… There are more giant stock debuts coming this year. Airbnb is like Uber for spare rooms and vacation houses, only it’s profitable, which dampens some of the excitement. …

… Low interest rates have a flattering effect on investments with healthy yields, but also on just the opposite: companies that won’t turn profits, to say nothing of paying dividends, for years to come. …

… Let’s keep quibbles about U.S. growth in context; compared with Europe and Japan, we’re circling the dance floor in an economic conga line. Rich people the world over want to invest here, which creates a glut of cash chasing scarce growth at a time of low rates. And that foretells go-go gains for goofy assets.