I spent this past weekend with an old friend and her family.  She has three absolutely delightful boys.  Her six year old reads fluently.  All three are confident, well behaved, and independent.  They’re inquisitive; I’ve heard “Why?” about a million times in the last three days.  They play and argue and whine occasionally, like all kids, but they’re sweet, affectionate, and generous.  At lunch yesterday, when the six year old complained that the restaurant had given him fewer chips than his brother, the four year old immediately pushed his plate towards his brother and offered his.  They’re beautiful, healthy, delightful children, the kind of kids you want to have around.

They’re also being raised by parents who have made some unconventional choices.  All of the boys were born at home with a midwife.  They don’t eat any dairy at all.  Her youngest, at 17 months, is still nursing.  The kids attend a Montessori school.  There are lots of things that my friend and her husband are choosing to do differently than I would.

And I think that’s great.  Clearly, with her kids, it’s working.  No one could meet these kids and think for two seconds that they didn’t have a great home and great parenting.  I don’t want to say that every kid should be raised in exactly this way, and neither would my friend, but I certainly want her to be able to make the choices that she has.

Fortunately for her, she doesn’t live in North Carolina.  Why is that fortunate?  Because in North Carolina, it’s not legal to give birth at home, attended by a midwife.  People do it, but it’s difficult and involves skirting the law in questionable ways.  And what about milk?  If she lived in North Carolina, she could still make the choice that she is to avoid all dairy.  But she couldn’t legally choose to give her children raw milk instead of the highly processed milk that we buy in grocery stores.  The state of North Carolina severely limits the choices parents are able to make about birth and milk and many other aspects of child-rearing.

And then there’s schooling.  We talked at length one evening about the choices she’s having to make regarding the education of her children.  The private school where her children attend is doing a great job of educating her boys.  I’ve never seen a six-year old who reads so well.  They’re creative.  They think through things well and ask good questions.  But the school is also expensive, so every year, she’s putting thousands of dollars into her children’s early childhood and elementary education, knowing that it’s money that can’t go into the college fund.  And every year, she questions whether that’s the right decision.  Of course, if the state used some kind of voucher or tax credit system, then she could make choices about her children’s education, send them to the school that’s undoubtedly working for them, and still be able to save for college.  The state’s not telling her she can’t make educational choices, but it is making those choices more difficult.

As I’ve spent time with my friend and her family, I’ve been reminded of the reasons why freedom is important.  I want people to be able to make choices that are good for themselves and their families.  I want parents who put as much time and thought into how they raise their children as my friend does, rather than just always defaulting to what the state says.  I want parents who are involved.  I want to encourage the kinds of outcomes I’ve been witnessing this weekend, and freedom for parents allows them to meet the unique needs of their children.

There are all kinds of ways that the state can step back and allow more freedom for individuals and more choices for parents.  And doing so is good for kids, good for parents, and ultimately, good for all of us.