While victims of homicide are dropping like flies, the political activists in Asheville are caught up in passionate interpretations of poetry. It all started when conservative Bill Fishburne convinced city council he had a strong enough background in art appreciation to win an appointment to the Public Art Board. This was after the Art Board blew its budget on Ida Kohlmeyer’s Conversation Piece #4c, and left the city spending years looking for a place to stash the controversial thing.

Well now, a veterans memorial is proposed for the extravagant Pack Square Conservancy. Asheville and Buncombe County each donated $25,000 toward the project. Other public dollars and private contributions from veterans in Western North Carolina have made up the difference.

Earlier, the veterans decided upon statuary that was determined to be politically incorrect. It was intended to portray a woman receiving news of her husband’s death. This was considered sexist, as many women serve in the military. And her clothes were so last year! Something more androgynous and amorphous was in order.

Now, the veterans of Western North Carolina have decided upon a poem. It was a modified version of “It Is the Soldier,” written by Charles Province and read before Congress without incident. For the purpose of the monument, “soldier” was replaced by “veteran,” and references to lawyers and flag burners were removed – with the permission of the author. The proposed poem reads:

It Is the Veteran
It is the VETERAN, not the preacher, who has given us freedom of religion
It is the VETERAN, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press
It is the VETERAN, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech
It is the VETERAN, not the campus organizer, who has given us freedom to assemble
It is the VETERAN, not the politician, who has given us the right to vote
It is the VETERAN
Who salutes the flag
Who serves under the flag
Whose coffin is draped by the flag.
Thank you Veterans.

Local [fill in the blank because I think he would deny any descriptor I would give him] Wally Bowen, considers the poem offensive in light of Thomas Jefferson’s insistence that the military be subordinate to civilians. He is afraid that children who have not taken history courses might misunderstand the intent of the poem. He is also very concerned that the descendants of the author might sue somebody because the words of the original poem have been altered. Others say the poem puts down civilians, and still others say freedoms are inalienable and in no need of soldiers.