One example of nanny government is the weekly emails I get from “Buncombe County Government.” The last issue has articles on, “How To Heat Your Olive Oil,” and “Seven Steps to a Happier Pet.” Headlines over the last few months have included, “Cut 100 Calories Everyday! [sic.],” “Safe Grilling Tips,” and “Is Your Clothes Dryer Safe?” The latest emails might send those of us who have not yet wrapped ourselves in aluminum foil scurrying under our beds. Last week, my government asked, “Who Are Your Beneficiaries?” and this week it asks, “Where Is Your Will Stored?”

I am assuming somebody is getting paid with tax dollars to help those of us so bold as to have ventured out of the crib with life’s turmoils. But not to worry, Asheville has just recently started sending out the “Neighborhood E-News.” It’s a version of all those complicated things that city council talks about, dumbed down especially for people like me.

A lot of the Hints from Heloise coming from Buncombe County hyperlink to what used to be the local Agricultural Extension, until it extended well beyond its agricultural bounds. A couple years ago, the Extension was soliciting public input on what the people wanted it to do. Well, if it wasn’t government, and it couldn’t find something important enough to do by itself, it would probably close its doors.

At least I know one thing: It makes me mad to pay people to tell me I’m stupid.