Our economy improves when people increase their work, savings, and investment. Despite what the Keynesians tell you, the economy doesn’t improve when people simply spend more. Former FDIC chair Sheila Bair pokes fun at the big spenders in her latest column for Fortune magazine.

The housing market is up; unemployment is down. But we all need to do our part to juice it up.

So folks, get with the program: Stop saving and start borrowing. The government is showing zero tolerance for savers, keeping interest rates near zero while targeting inflation north of 2%. Every penny saved in your 0.0005% bank accounts is a penny fast losing value. You need to go out there and spend.

I know that for many of you it will be tough kicking the savings habit. I have been a savings addict for years. When I was young, I was normal. I had six credit cards and kept to a strict regimen of maxing out my credit limits and racking up interest charges by making the minimum payments. For years I stayed straight and didn’t save a nickel.

Then it happened: individual retirement accounts. Not the milquetoast IRAs they have now, but ones that provided a real, sweet savings high. Full tax deductibility up to $2,000, and no tax on the investment returns until the money was pulled out. My grandma got me started. Darn her. She gave me a check for $2,000, which I took straight to the bank. Back then you could actually get interest of 6% to 8% on your deposits, with low inflation providing a real return above 4%. Every quarter I could see my IRA balance growing. That gave me a bigger buzz than eating dark chocolate with a double espresso.

After that, I was hooked. It was a slow descent into savings lotus land. I got a good-paying job, and my employer offered something called a 401(k) savings account. If I put money into it, my company would actually put in an equal amount. Yes, it was enabling my addiction. The stock market was going gangbusters, and my 401(k) account grew like crazy. My hands would shake when the account statement arrived in the mail.

Bair ends her satire by speculating that the end of her savings habit “would make my government proud.”