Alamance County Commissioner Tim Sutton questions a $9 million ‘Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration’ grant from the Department of Health and Human Services to ‘to provide services for children ages 5 years and younger for six years.’

Interpret for yourselves, dear reader. But just for the sake of it, I’ll give the grant the benefit of the doubt and assume it provided positive results, although the only impact the Burlington Times-News reports is a Duke University doctor’s conclusion that there is “a decline in stress levels among parents.”

Still, I’ll speak up for parents everywhere who reduced their stress levels without the help of the federal government. Maybe that’s why it’s a ‘substance abuse grant.’